intro post

My partner and I decided to break up yesterday evening and this was a project I was considering doing for the longest time. I have been really struggling with the idea of losing someone close to me (that isnt through death just two peoples relationship that has taken its course). So this is my way of coping.

Idea

I wanted to be really transparent and use this as a resource to be introspective with myself - so if you are reading, this will be really raw I will try my best to not have too many photos of people, text names redacted, and names shortened to initials or just straight up changed theres a lot of content that will get adjusted over time for instance if i can find old audio messages of me talking to myself from middle school i think it would be cool nostalgia to had a log of stuff like that theres voicemails ive saved on my desktop from important loved ones and i think it might be neat to digitially immortalize them ya know also there will be a good bit of technical exploration im learning a lot about cs, html, file types, typescript, node, etc etc so there might be little tech dumps from time to time.

things will be okay

Click to expand

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note to sd and any onlookers who dont know whos kissing me this is my favorite photo of us and its the last one i have i am placing it here as a reminder to myself that i love you and i always will

the goal?

chat shit post photos share my suffering and my wins

• today was especially difficult i find myself struggling not to call her. when you have support every single day and suddenly you no longer have that support or that connection its shocking. i will learn to carry the weight and be comfortable it will just take time and understanding. i will be having another conversation with sd to clarify some things and make sure her and i are on the same page. im excited to see her even if its to discuss something sad.
• i went to the gym i ran 2 miles and hit legs, i fucking hate cardio
• sleep was rough , eating was not right

with love -thomas