d2d yippeeee

• food is really good i feel like im actually nourishing my body and brain
• activity levels are at an all time high who knew just going to the gym and moving ur mom with the subtle help of friends would really make you put in the work
• i shaved my face and i look 12 but i can see the difference in the weight of my face and my jaw feels like its so much more forward for 2 weeks of training - hygiene still really strong
• sleep is TERRIBLE it is so unbelievably bad but im really enjoying the late nights grinding @ work or playing games with new friends
• speaking of new friends i got to do my first wow dungeon again with jy, jk, invokation, and katt (character cards will be updated)
• this was top 10 funniest and enjoyable gaming experiences ive had in forever im playing a discipline priest goblin named ushey and fuck is that shit so funny
• minecraft is BANGER as well bran just finished the construction of the villager trading hall and my wheat fields are getting out of hand
• got to play 5am aram with jy and katt that shit was so fucking funny even though everyone was just delusional from lack of sleep (less katt and more jy and i)
• i will attach photos of all of the above
• i got to see my oldest sister with 3 kids (hi cil if ur reading this) and we got to get food with mom and spend time with her 2 youngest
• soup + the twins (mini mes 3 cats) are so cute and i love them but im very stressed about their health since soup seems nuclear levels of stressed over moving
• really enjoying conversations with so many new people and just chopping it up
• i started reading my first bit of non fiction fantasy its called "Fourth Wing" but so far so good :P
• theres other games i played like ow with friends n stuff but i dont wanna make more name cards but the experience was good lol (love u guys if u do read)
• ty asked about the diary when i was talking about it in minecraft the other day - big shoutout to one of the biggest softies on the internet he will come again at a later date (probs when new poe league comes out or something happens in mc)
• brax might come to town for our halloween party with his gf kt and im so stoked i havent seen him since 8th grade since he moved away but weve always kept in touch and been playing games (this would be legendary if he came and i genuinely hope he does)

games!

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deeper cut

i really hope im not overstepping on their friend group they are all really pleasant and nice people. its weird to have internet friends again to play games with just like a group of people you know you can look forward to doing random shit with. ive known jy through mutuals for a while but weve never really conversation until now aside from when i was in the cyber lounge w pk years ago? jk and i have always been friends since we met but i know she has her own group so im so so grateful that i get to spend time with new people. literally in the corny way i really hope i get to keep spending time with my friends whilst learning about all these people and who they are their character etc

although im enjoying these past couple of days there still seems to be this looming feeling - like something is missing? the journal is helping a lot a place to put my thoughts and feelings or talk about my d2d like you would do with a partner or a close friend but i think its just straight up seasonal depression. when i feel really really rough like this is makes me really worry about court because her and i are one in the same. except i think my burden of consciousness is a bit more severe and her chemicals are even more in a drought. like im always in thought and experiencing and i feel like shes always trying to put one foot in front of the other and she never stops feeling that i love her and i hope shes winning and her days are easy - i think i share a similar concern for mini me but shes medicated, in therapy, has a really strong support system, etc so i know she has the resources to be okay. court also is in therapy but i know she isnt medicated and she just goes through the motions like i do which i deeply respect

this one is kinda brief but i went to moms again this morning and helped out more getting this big ass dresser up the stairs (never again) but today (the 17th) ill just be coding for work and playing wow which im stoked for also did an interview for chroar with een about creative writing in dnd and it reminded me how much i love games as an escape with my friends from the monotony of everyday life (more on this another day because i think theres a LOT to it) there might be another entry if im feeling some type of way or feel like i need to talk but i think i feel like im in a really good mood and my spirit is really high - i just wanna have fun, be healthy, take care of my people, and keep making money.

i think stepping away from deep rooted feelings for a day or two just to take a moment and have fun was really needed and made me feel really great about a lot of things

watch in awe - thomas